I was at In N Out somewhere in southwest LA this afternoon with my co-worker trying to quell my voracious appetite. We went in to eat and she renamed the place the title of this post because the drive-thru line was so long. Genius, right?
There was no line inside but the two people ordering were taking forever. We tried not to lose faith that the line that was forming laterally would complicate things so that we'd lose our turn. We had no such luck. A woman about 45 years old with two teenage boys took the next available register.
"Excuse me," my co-worker, a 21 year-old girl, said. "We've been waiting for awhile and we were next."
"No you weren't. I was."
Okayyy.
A register opened and my co-worker went to it. "Are there two lines?"
"Nope. Just one."
"Then you might want to tell this lady about it."
That's when things got weird.
The lady whipped around at my co-worker and said, "Don't talk shit, bitch."
That really bowled me over. What was this lady trying to accomplish? If she really didn't want my co-worker to talk shit then why would she give her the only ammo she could use and call her a bitch? She'd foiled herself if she really didn't want her to talk shit which she hadn't even done. It was so weird I had to take it like she wanted to fight my co-worker.
What are you to do as the boss? I dunno. I knew the lady was going to look at me to see if I'd back my girl up. I didn't know if I would but I knew I was going to make this lady out to be a super freak. I arranged my face so that she could see exactly how I felt about her. It said, "Fight you? I don't even believe you actually exist yet. Is this for real?" Then I looked at her boys to see if they were gonna back her up. They clearly felt the same way I did.
And that was pretty much the end of that near In N "Hang" Out Throwdown Somewhere In LA.
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Newport Beach Being Newport Beach
I run a lot down on the beach in Newport Beach. It never gets old jogging down the boardwalk with Catalina in the distance, million dollar homes on my left and hot sand on my right. I get to go past a the cute little touristy area with the bars and shops, the pier and even a school that has its huge playground sitting out in the sand with no fences surrounding it.
I've dealt with some heckling from drunk people enjoying the scene on their patios but I've never been through what I went through on Thursday morning.
On the boardwalk I passed two men in their early forties who were dressed like they were trying to be casual but their oily hair wasn't really letting them pull it off. All I heard from their conversation was, "Money is power."
Then I passed up a couple ladies who may or may not have been cougars. I heard one of them say, "That 21 year old was hot."
I was shocked at how stereotypical these conversations were but tried to shrug it off as a coincidence. I'd never heard anything like it before.
Later I passed a couple of ladies and I heard, "He's just got six grand in a sock somewhere." Forget coincidence.
On my way back to the car I walked past a Hummer parked on the side of the road. It's license plate read www.BillionaireByThirty.com and it had a bumper sticker on the back window that said the same thing.
I guess that's just Newport being Newport.
I've dealt with some heckling from drunk people enjoying the scene on their patios but I've never been through what I went through on Thursday morning.
On the boardwalk I passed two men in their early forties who were dressed like they were trying to be casual but their oily hair wasn't really letting them pull it off. All I heard from their conversation was, "Money is power."
Then I passed up a couple ladies who may or may not have been cougars. I heard one of them say, "That 21 year old was hot."
I was shocked at how stereotypical these conversations were but tried to shrug it off as a coincidence. I'd never heard anything like it before.
Later I passed a couple of ladies and I heard, "He's just got six grand in a sock somewhere." Forget coincidence.
On my way back to the car I walked past a Hummer parked on the side of the road. It's license plate read www.BillionaireByThirty.com and it had a bumper sticker on the back window that said the same thing.
I guess that's just Newport being Newport.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Sunset at sunset
I started thinking about how today was an interesting day and then I realized it's been a pretty interesting week and it's only Wednesday and then I remembered that I'm writing a memoir so hopefully my life is pretty damn compelling.
Today I was at home trying to locate my friend who lives in Hawaii who went MIA while I was selling high performance race parts online and following up with a woman on the glitter tattoo party I had just been assigned to do in Beverly Hills tonight. That's all pretty ordinary stuff (my friend was located and just fine) but it got better.
At K-Mart I almost got side-swiped by a kiddie pool. I dodged out of the way and then a woman appeared behind it and said, "Oh my gosh! I almost mauled you with a kiddie pool!"
Fed Ex delivered my new cell phone and I programmed it and uploaded my contacts right from my house! Isn't that a miracle?
Crawling along the 405 in West LA I was ecstatic. I get to sit in LA traffic! Finally! And I get to do it while I listen to some of my favorite radio stations in the world. YES!
I exited at Beverly Hills and got held up at a red light on Wilshire. A white, gorgeous convertible Ferrari with the top down pulled up on my left. I was trying to keep my cool when an Aston Martin got in the middle of the intersection to make a left and looked like it was having a face off with me while it waited for traffic to clear. This is such a huge departure from my previous life and I'm so grateful. I wanted to be part of the world where possibility was everywhere. It's not "That's good enough" anymore. It's, "That's good but we're looking for amazing."
I stopped at UCLA because I had to go to the bathroom and I wanted some bin candy. Walking down from the tennis court past Pauley Pavilion I realized that I am not built for college. I thought, "This is a place to contrive problems" when I approached Ackerman Union--not a good sign for someone who thought she wanted to teach creative writing to college students.
Then I drove up a steep hill (9.5 grade) to the glitter party overlooking LA and whoa. I LOVE LA. How come NYC got "Greatest city in the world?" I feel that way about LA even with its lack of parking spots.
It was a fun party for a group of girls whose biggest concern was whether the marshmallows they were dipping in chocolate were kosher. The house was lavish but also comfortable and the owners were genuinely kind. Realization--people who talk shit about rich people claiming they're totally out of touch and assholes are saying that out of jealousy. All the people I have done parties for have been super nice. I feel blessed to be so warmly accepted at these intimate celebrations.
Walking out to my car a hot guy in a Land Rover drove past me to the neighbor's house. I thought he might be the dude from The Girl Next Door. The house he was headed to was huge, imposing and had an incredible view. I had to think, judging by the cars in the driveway, this was a movie star party. Were they going to get drunk and then stand on the balcony and say, "We own this town!"? I really wanted to know.
I drove back to the 405 on Sunset at sunset. Felt great. Felt right.
Today I was at home trying to locate my friend who lives in Hawaii who went MIA while I was selling high performance race parts online and following up with a woman on the glitter tattoo party I had just been assigned to do in Beverly Hills tonight. That's all pretty ordinary stuff (my friend was located and just fine) but it got better.
At K-Mart I almost got side-swiped by a kiddie pool. I dodged out of the way and then a woman appeared behind it and said, "Oh my gosh! I almost mauled you with a kiddie pool!"
Fed Ex delivered my new cell phone and I programmed it and uploaded my contacts right from my house! Isn't that a miracle?
Crawling along the 405 in West LA I was ecstatic. I get to sit in LA traffic! Finally! And I get to do it while I listen to some of my favorite radio stations in the world. YES!
I exited at Beverly Hills and got held up at a red light on Wilshire. A white, gorgeous convertible Ferrari with the top down pulled up on my left. I was trying to keep my cool when an Aston Martin got in the middle of the intersection to make a left and looked like it was having a face off with me while it waited for traffic to clear. This is such a huge departure from my previous life and I'm so grateful. I wanted to be part of the world where possibility was everywhere. It's not "That's good enough" anymore. It's, "That's good but we're looking for amazing."
I stopped at UCLA because I had to go to the bathroom and I wanted some bin candy. Walking down from the tennis court past Pauley Pavilion I realized that I am not built for college. I thought, "This is a place to contrive problems" when I approached Ackerman Union--not a good sign for someone who thought she wanted to teach creative writing to college students.
Then I drove up a steep hill (9.5 grade) to the glitter party overlooking LA and whoa. I LOVE LA. How come NYC got "Greatest city in the world?" I feel that way about LA even with its lack of parking spots.
It was a fun party for a group of girls whose biggest concern was whether the marshmallows they were dipping in chocolate were kosher. The house was lavish but also comfortable and the owners were genuinely kind. Realization--people who talk shit about rich people claiming they're totally out of touch and assholes are saying that out of jealousy. All the people I have done parties for have been super nice. I feel blessed to be so warmly accepted at these intimate celebrations.
Walking out to my car a hot guy in a Land Rover drove past me to the neighbor's house. I thought he might be the dude from The Girl Next Door. The house he was headed to was huge, imposing and had an incredible view. I had to think, judging by the cars in the driveway, this was a movie star party. Were they going to get drunk and then stand on the balcony and say, "We own this town!"? I really wanted to know.
I drove back to the 405 on Sunset at sunset. Felt great. Felt right.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Confirm your registeration
My friend feels badly about this now, even while I'm sitting here applauding her!
From: My friend
Subject: Re: Confirm your Registeration
To: Department of Education
Date: Thursday, July 23, 2009, 11:12 AM
Should I be concerned with the misspelling in your email subject line?
From: My friend
Subject: Re: Confirm your Registeration
To: Department of Education
Date: Thursday, July 23, 2009, 11:12 AM
Department of Education,
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Fun from a common email address
Got this email this morning:
FROM: Mark Maguire
SUBJECT: Wats the story??
BODY: Hows it goin rachel?
I have really bad hangover this morning, me head is thumpin and i need to sleep. Good job its quiet in here today, i will have to kick them out of the office for a while so i can get a bit of kip or else find a hiding spot to sleep for a few hours lol.Its nearly time to get me breakfast i need a cure badly and some headache tablets ha ha.
Im never drinkin before work again........actually i know i will.
Cheers
Mark.
The only thing to do was forward it to my friend Jeff who came up with this response:
Mark,
I don't know who you are but you sound like my kind of limey! I'm the Rachel in California who doesn't have a hangover this morning. And you're the Mark with a name that seems familiar but only because I was an Oakland Athletic's fan in the late 80s, early 90s. Do you have a coworker or a rival named Sammy, by any chance? Regardless, I'm loving the use of words like "kip," and "thumpin" and do believe I'll start calling Advil "headache tablets," as it's a far more accurate name, I do believe.
Since this was sent many hours ago I can only assume you can now provide the follow-up story about how you managed today. I'd be interested to read it.
All the best,
The other Rachel B
Got this gem of a response:
FROM: Mark Maguire
SUBJECT: Wats the story??
BODY: Hows it goin rachel?
I have really bad hangover this morning, me head is thumpin and i need to sleep. Good job its quiet in here today, i will have to kick them out of the office for a while so i can get a bit of kip or else find a hiding spot to sleep for a few hours lol.Its nearly time to get me breakfast i need a cure badly and some headache tablets ha ha.
Im never drinkin before work again........actually i know i will.
Cheers
Mark.
The only thing to do was forward it to my friend Jeff who came up with this response:
Mark,
I don't know who you are but you sound like my kind of limey! I'm the Rachel in California who doesn't have a hangover this morning. And you're the Mark with a name that seems familiar but only because I was an Oakland Athletic's fan in the late 80s, early 90s. Do you have a coworker or a rival named Sammy, by any chance? Regardless, I'm loving the use of words like "kip," and "thumpin" and do believe I'll start calling Advil "headache tablets," as it's a far more accurate name, I do believe.
Since this was sent many hours ago I can only assume you can now provide the follow-up story about how you managed today. I'd be interested to read it.
All the best,
The other Rachel B
Got this gem of a response:
Ha ha i was expecting a reply about ten minutes after i sent that e-mail this morning and realised that i left out a bit of the email address that i was meant to send it to,im a bit of a thick like that.That shit is fucked up i email some what i now know to be a random email address and it turns out your from california and you dont have a hangover :(.Well im from Dublin , so the "kip" and "thumpin" is a little bit of irish slang words.
The rest of the story is that i struggled through a breakfast took an age to eat it nearly me whole break, felt rough as bag of bricks after it for about two hours,got me headache tablets which cured the head but i was knackered for the rest of the day so i did no work didnt manage to get a bit of kip though, ah well you cant win them all :).
When i read oakland athletic, i was thinkin it was a football(soccer for you) team so i had to google them,i see my namesake played for them good stuff and seems he is quite the legend.I prefer the NFL meself not a big baseball fan although a lady i work with from Philidelphia, big phillies fan by the way is trying to force me to like it lol.
So thats the story of the rest of the day anyway,Hope this finds you well.
Cheers
Mark
The rest of the story is that i struggled through a breakfast took an age to eat it nearly me whole break, felt rough as bag of bricks after it for about two hours,got me headache tablets which cured the head but i was knackered for the rest of the day so i did no work didnt manage to get a bit of kip though, ah well you cant win them all :).
When i read oakland athletic, i was thinkin it was a football(soccer for you) team so i had to google them,i see my namesake played for them good stuff and seems he is quite the legend.I prefer the NFL meself not a big baseball fan although a lady i work with from Philidelphia, big phillies fan by the way is trying to force me to like it lol.
So thats the story of the rest of the day anyway,Hope this finds you well.
Cheers
Mark
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
That's a bitch
Today I decided to really entertain the idea of giving up. A few months ago I had this moment where I threw my hands up and cried, "I've been beaten!" and then fully intended to give up but got confused and ended up going to the gas station to fill up my tank cause how was I going to get home if I didn't take care of that? I really got off track there.
Today I tried to get back on. I really did. I decided that giving up meant grabbing a blanket and taking up residence under a freeway overpass. That way I'd be the pathetic homeless person and not confused with a troll like I would have been if I took up residence under a bridge.
But then I realized I probably would still have goals if I lived under the overpass, even if they were as minimal as sleeping through the night. I'd probably struggle not to entertain my basic instincts for survival like getting food. It started to sound like a lot of work to give up.
Pain, disappointment--they're facts of life. I can see that I can't avoid them by going deeper into the darkness.
Maybe my ambitions should go on the backburner for awhile so I can go back to fundamentals to see what is really important and get that down. Then I can rebuild on top of it.
It's not my nature to do things that way. I'm like a stew. I like to throw everything in the pot at once, stir vigorously and then hope for the best. But maybe it's time to take it step by step.
Sidebar - I thought I did a small version of giving up today when I didn't shower and then wore a wife beater and a cap to work with no makeup. Nobody seemed to care and I was still taken seriously. I guess that's how people roll when you sell high performance race parts online. Turns out I wasn't giving up at all, just reveling in my awesome employment perks.
Also, maybe we need to come together as a society and change what these shirts are called? It's kinda offensive plus I bet my mom read that and thought I wore a really mean dude to work.
Today I tried to get back on. I really did. I decided that giving up meant grabbing a blanket and taking up residence under a freeway overpass. That way I'd be the pathetic homeless person and not confused with a troll like I would have been if I took up residence under a bridge.
But then I realized I probably would still have goals if I lived under the overpass, even if they were as minimal as sleeping through the night. I'd probably struggle not to entertain my basic instincts for survival like getting food. It started to sound like a lot of work to give up.
Pain, disappointment--they're facts of life. I can see that I can't avoid them by going deeper into the darkness.
Maybe my ambitions should go on the backburner for awhile so I can go back to fundamentals to see what is really important and get that down. Then I can rebuild on top of it.
It's not my nature to do things that way. I'm like a stew. I like to throw everything in the pot at once, stir vigorously and then hope for the best. But maybe it's time to take it step by step.
Sidebar - I thought I did a small version of giving up today when I didn't shower and then wore a wife beater and a cap to work with no makeup. Nobody seemed to care and I was still taken seriously. I guess that's how people roll when you sell high performance race parts online. Turns out I wasn't giving up at all, just reveling in my awesome employment perks.
Also, maybe we need to come together as a society and change what these shirts are called? It's kinda offensive plus I bet my mom read that and thought I wore a really mean dude to work.
Monday, July 06, 2009
A Word on Physics
I find physicists to be a funny people. On the one hand, they're so damned smart. On the other hand, I think they're on a highway to nowhere.
Take quantum physics. It makes me think of Hinduism. They're trying to find Brahma--that thing that makes up everything else. The smallest particle in existence. The origin of creation, I suppose.
It's just so silly. Sorry. I might start giggling. From what I gather it just keeps eluding them no matter how many particles they shoot across a room at lightning speeds. Even Einstein couldn't pin it down. Now it's, "Maybe it's string theory." Or have we moved past that? I haven't been paying attention since The Elegant Universe.
I'm sure I'm not the first person to think this and I certainly won't be the last but it's been indicated to me that what these people are searching for will remain slightly out of their grasp, like the carrot in front of the donkey's nose. I just can't see the secrets of the universe being penetrated with pedantic rational thought. I don't see enlightenment being achieved through the writing of a mathematical equation based on inductive logic. I'm almost laughing like a fat, happy Buddha right now. Chortling!
I struggled with this problem as a philosophy major. I'm speaking from experience here. All the reasoning and proofs that a Bachelor's degree afforded got me nowhere except maybe more confused than where I started. And now when I think about nothing I make a lot more progress. It's pure comedy!
Take quantum physics. It makes me think of Hinduism. They're trying to find Brahma--that thing that makes up everything else. The smallest particle in existence. The origin of creation, I suppose.
It's just so silly. Sorry. I might start giggling. From what I gather it just keeps eluding them no matter how many particles they shoot across a room at lightning speeds. Even Einstein couldn't pin it down. Now it's, "Maybe it's string theory." Or have we moved past that? I haven't been paying attention since The Elegant Universe.
I'm sure I'm not the first person to think this and I certainly won't be the last but it's been indicated to me that what these people are searching for will remain slightly out of their grasp, like the carrot in front of the donkey's nose. I just can't see the secrets of the universe being penetrated with pedantic rational thought. I don't see enlightenment being achieved through the writing of a mathematical equation based on inductive logic. I'm almost laughing like a fat, happy Buddha right now. Chortling!
I struggled with this problem as a philosophy major. I'm speaking from experience here. All the reasoning and proofs that a Bachelor's degree afforded got me nowhere except maybe more confused than where I started. And now when I think about nothing I make a lot more progress. It's pure comedy!
On Letting Go
Sometimes when I meditate I clench my fist and then open my hand up slowly, imagining that whatever I am grasping at slowly falls out of my hand. Sometimes I need to repeat the process over and over to really feel myself let go. It can be hard. Letting go of my anger toward my ex-husband was impossible until I realized that I was hanging on to it so tightly to have an excuse for not moving forward. I didn't want to face my fears.
On Saturday I let go of something major. It was fitting because it was Independence Day. As I left a crowded street fair I let go of my need to be around people all the time. I thought it would be terribly difficult because I'm such a social person but what I found was something else entirely.
Yesterday I heard How Was I To Know by Reba come on the radio. It was spot on:
What I was so afraid of
Turned out to be my freedom in disguise
Now I know what I'm made of
Guess it just took some time to realize
I was blind I couldn't tell
Put too much faith in someone else
Gave up on myself
How was I to know
That I'd be O.K.
Thought I'd lose it all when you walked away
How was I to know
I would be this strong
I had what it takes all along
How was I to know
I've been greatly disappointed because I've expected so much. What I let go of was the expectation. I stopped clutching and started accepting reality.
I went to see the fireworks in Newport Beach's Back Bay by myself and it was amazing. It reminded me of my solo trek across Europe at 19. That was magical. Why have I been so afraid to travel in America the same way?
I'm excited to see what the future brings.
On Saturday I let go of something major. It was fitting because it was Independence Day. As I left a crowded street fair I let go of my need to be around people all the time. I thought it would be terribly difficult because I'm such a social person but what I found was something else entirely.
Yesterday I heard How Was I To Know by Reba come on the radio. It was spot on:
What I was so afraid of
Turned out to be my freedom in disguise
Now I know what I'm made of
Guess it just took some time to realize
I was blind I couldn't tell
Put too much faith in someone else
Gave up on myself
How was I to know
That I'd be O.K.
Thought I'd lose it all when you walked away
How was I to know
I would be this strong
I had what it takes all along
How was I to know
I've been greatly disappointed because I've expected so much. What I let go of was the expectation. I stopped clutching and started accepting reality.
I went to see the fireworks in Newport Beach's Back Bay by myself and it was amazing. It reminded me of my solo trek across Europe at 19. That was magical. Why have I been so afraid to travel in America the same way?
I'm excited to see what the future brings.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Radical thoughts (not about free radicals)
I was on a meditative run/walk yesterday, which is kind of weird to say because it sounds pretentious, first off, when it really was not. Well, it was kind of because I was in this really expensive neighborhood in Newport Beach with a great view of the Marina and happened upon an awesome spot to launch my boat, which is more of an inevitable slow-sinking blow-up raft but around here it's money to say you have a boat.
That tangent is actually useful. Two major things happened on this run/walk:
1. I realized that women really do think about a zillion useless things a second that tend to drive us nuts AND that we can shut this off but we are pretty damn addicted to these thoughts and don't pay much attention the fact that we can rid ourselves of them.
That tangent is actually useful. Two major things happened on this run/walk:
1. I realized that women really do think about a zillion useless things a second that tend to drive us nuts AND that we can shut this off but we are pretty damn addicted to these thoughts and don't pay much attention the fact that we can rid ourselves of them.
2. Since I have some practice in turning off my thoughts in meditation, I went there while walking and nothing went through my head. I did it again while driving today. I felt like I had penetrated the inner workings of men! When they say they aren't thinking about anything it might be because they really aren't thinking about anything.
2a. When you aren't thinking about anything you have a a good shot at seeing things in more accurate perspective. The thing I was mulling over before I turned off my thoughts was how to love properly. I haven't seemed to be getting it right. I came down a hill and turned onto PCH. I passed pedestrians and people driving. I was pretty aware of what everyone was doing. That's when the perspective hit:
I'm trying to connect and love but I'm not seeing the whole picture. I'm only seeing PEOPLE. There's so much more to connect with and love!
Lightbulb! It was like when I read Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything and then been aggravated that people didn't seem to give a shit about anything other than mammals because, damnit, there are so many other forms of life it's ridiculous. We can't even seem to name them all for chrissakes! I cared quite a bit about porifera then but my thinking wore out when society didn't seem to have any patience for it. "Who gives a shit about sponges, Rachel?" I DO! They're a lifeform! There's something special and holy in that. Life is something to marvel at and respect. Am I crazy here?
Furthermore, there is energy all around us. All matter is energy. E = mc^2. Nuclear fusion, nuclear fission. Breaking down matter into energy, binding together energy to make matter. So are we really all that different, from say, our coffee tables? You think about it. I don't want to say what I think here because it may be used to put me in a mental institution. That tends to be the thing with radical thinkers, bless their hearts.
2a. When you aren't thinking about anything you have a a good shot at seeing things in more accurate perspective. The thing I was mulling over before I turned off my thoughts was how to love properly. I haven't seemed to be getting it right. I came down a hill and turned onto PCH. I passed pedestrians and people driving. I was pretty aware of what everyone was doing. That's when the perspective hit:
I'm trying to connect and love but I'm not seeing the whole picture. I'm only seeing PEOPLE. There's so much more to connect with and love!
Lightbulb! It was like when I read Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything and then been aggravated that people didn't seem to give a shit about anything other than mammals because, damnit, there are so many other forms of life it's ridiculous. We can't even seem to name them all for chrissakes! I cared quite a bit about porifera then but my thinking wore out when society didn't seem to have any patience for it. "Who gives a shit about sponges, Rachel?" I DO! They're a lifeform! There's something special and holy in that. Life is something to marvel at and respect. Am I crazy here?
Furthermore, there is energy all around us. All matter is energy. E = mc^2. Nuclear fusion, nuclear fission. Breaking down matter into energy, binding together energy to make matter. So are we really all that different, from say, our coffee tables? You think about it. I don't want to say what I think here because it may be used to put me in a mental institution. That tends to be the thing with radical thinkers, bless their hearts.
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