Won a trip to Hawaii (but not really)

I've been talking to my amazing friend Kim a lot recently which prompted my good friend Caro to drop that we should go visit her in Hawaii. That sounded great except for the fact that it would cost money. I'm of the opinion that you have to get clear on what you want so you can go after it. I want a free trip to Hawaii. How do I go after that? I decided I was only willing to go so far as to enter to win one.

This is somewhat ridiculous because I used to get occasional entry forms in the mail to win trips that I'd always dump in the trash because, "I'd already been there" or "Eh, golfing in Ireland? I could take it or leave it." I remember watching the paper flutter into the can and being hit over the head with the fact that I was spoiled possibly beyond recognition. I'm still trying to figure out how to reverse this but isn't it in the definition of spoiled somewhere that it's irreversible?

I went to the Lakers website to check the schedule and found a giveaway for a trip to Hawaii. It took 5 seconds to enter so I did it and then reported to Caro that I had entered to win one so we'll see what happens.

Two days ago I got a phone call while I was driving to the beach to go for a run.

"Is this Rachel?"

"Yeah."

"Hi. A few weeks ago you entered to win a trip to Hawaii. Do you remember that?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm from Something Vacations and I've been assigned to your account."

Ugh. "Uh huh."

"We want to give you blah, blah, blah and a trip to Hawaii as a promotion for blah, blah, blah."

"Uh huh."

"So congratulations."

"Thanks."

"You have to be at least 25 to take advantage of this offer."

"Okay. That's not a problem."

"Are you sure? You sound 15."

"WHAT?!"

"You sound really young."

"Dude, you are getting seriously derailed here."

"I'm just saying..."

"Yeah, I get it. Don't worry about it."

Then he got right back on his script like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

"So we're going to need to know who you're taking with you."

I started with a guy because I'd had problems with a timeshare promo before where they rescinded the offer when they found out I wasn't actually sleeping with my roommate. The trip wasn't for friends. But then I realized this whole thing was for Caro and me so I said,

"You know what? I want to take my girlfriend." That's how you become great. Hang your balls out there.

"Okay. I don't care who you take. Do you guys make over $60k together?"

"I don't know how much I make." I honestly don't. Nobody does.

"Well, I'll just put down that you make it by yourself."

Great. Now I'm in the top 10% of wealthiest 15-year olds in the country.

"So we're going to need to take $129 to secure this trip."

This trip that I won. Uh...no. "Look, I'm not an auditory learner. I need to see this all in writing before I do anything."

"Well, I don't really have anything to give you. When can you come down to Escondido to pick everything up?"

So now I've won a trip that I have to go out of my way by about 50 miles to pay for and pick up. "I have no idea."

"Well, what about later today?"

"I'm working."

"What about tomorrow?"

"Nope."

"How about I email you some stuff on Tuesday?"

"That's fine."

"Okay. Thanks, Rachel."

Maybe next time I decide to win a trip I should clarify winning. I want bells going off, lights blinking, clapping and cheering and FREE STUFF.